I knew the weight loss would bring several changes; the obvious one being physical. However, I have undergone so many emotional and mental changes in the last few weeks, that I'm struggling to find myself again.
Before I continue to sound dramatic, allow me to reassure everyone (including myself) that I've NEVER been this happy. Shopping has become more than an addiction (I need an intervention PRONTO!), and seeing myself in the mirror every morning and night is now a necessity. I have lost more inches than pounds in the last month or so, but I'm not complaining. I'm down to a size 10-12...but still get a way with using a few of my tighter 14's. I'm a Medium/Large in all shirts and sweaters...no mo' XL's!!! My workouts are still religiously 3-4 times a week (I even started the Tapout XT videos at home in addition to my Muay Thai sessions). I'm a WORKOUTholic to say the least.
Back to my emotional and mental changes....
I sometimes breakdown when I think of how much bigger I was. It's hard to look at old pictures and think that I THOUGHT I was happy. I find it hard to open up about this to anyone because I don't think they'll understand me. I do have tears of joy too. I'm much healthier, happier, and SMALLER!! Mentally, I sometimes still think I'm that big. I look at a few things at the store and think, "That definitely doesn't fit, it's too small," then VOILA! it fits!! I want to drop another two or three sizes if possible. I know I want to be out of the double digits (i.e 1-0, 1-2, etc). I think a healthy 8 or even a 6 would make for a perfect size (for my body).
The journey has only just begun for me. I'm currently at 6.3 cc's and it's HARD!! I need to chew more and eat a lot slower than I already was. I've only thrown up ONCE since I got the band back in January, I plan to keep it that way. We'll see what the rest of this year brings. I'm hoping to be 170 by December. That's a whole 18 pounds...but I know I can do it.
So there you have it. A full update after over a month. Here's a before and current progress picture....
On that note:
"Train like a beast, look like a BEAUTY."
